Writer's Remorse

I'm not one of those people who writes every day, or even every week. I'm more of a Herculean writer, where I sit down to play with my work and suddenly I've written a couple scenes or reworked some things or figured out the next chapter of my story. This can be good and bad, because at least then my scenes are each entire coherent scenes, but at the same time it could be argued that I'm not really practicing my art very well.

The biggest downside I find with my Herculean efforts is writer's remorse. I write scenes and sections, and then don't see them for weeks. When I open that word document again to continue writing, while I wait for the pages of writing to load, I'm left to stare at the opening paragraph on the document. Often I cringe at it and wish that it wasn't such a bad paragraph, but my brain can't seem to focus on how to make it better. My brain would rather waste its funds on pity parties and bemoaning the fact that someday I'll have to go back and fix it.

This always leads to the big question writers always ask themselves: Why do I do this to myself?

I don't have an answer. I've read lots of answers by other successful authors, but I guess it just comes down to the fact that we're all crazy and will do what we must to enjoy our hobbies.

Until then, I'll have to decide whether I want to rework that opening scene of chapter two, or whether I want to just grit my teeth and just keep moving forward.